What to do when you are confused?
We've all been there
Raw and Real Conversation
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Option A or Option B?”
“I am really stuck. I need someone who can help me get unstuck.”
I don’t know of anyone who has not been in this situation at any point of time in their lives. I know I have been.
And when we are confused, we are in this unending puddle of mud that only goes to a downward spiral, rarely up.
In haste, we make either of the decisions that helps us in the short term or makes us look good to others.
The result? Sometimes good, sometimes not-so-good, but never a joyful one.
Do you know why?
Because when we make a decision, we should cater to the person we love the most: ourselves.
Which unfortunately most people ignore.
Does not mean you will charge $500 for a $150 product, just because you want to cater to yourself.
However, it means that if you want to make $150 per product, you would decide the product, the audience, the marketing style, the business style – all that caters to how you function the best as a person.
For example, I am someone who loves being in solitude and writing. This is exactly the reason I don’t do reels or YouTube videos. Deciding what I do not want to do helps me build on what I do want to do – write blogs, essays and books.
The hard work doesn’t reduce.
But the hard work energises me.
And everyone I serve – whether my clients or customers.
On the other hand, pick someone who does everything, and more often than not, I feel it overpowers need for “more and everything” than the need to be “right and authentic”. The former is the path of fame and applause, the latter is the path of awe and flow.
So, coming back to the central question, how do you deal with confusion?
Here are a few rituals that help me:
(Before we start, let us know that these are lifestyle changes, just like confusion is a lifestyle bug. These pointers may not give you an immediate clear cut answer for your current confusion right away, however, will certainly give you a process you create in your life, to deal with your confusion.
Over time, you will know that you know.)
Nature walks: If you have been reading me for quite some time, you might be tired of reading this. But if a gift keeps giving itself, we must keep sharing it :) Also, the pre-winter mornings are ultra-beautiful for you to be dozing off indoors. And missing the truest fun of nature :) Nights, are as always, gifts of joy.
No screen-time zone: I get it most of us use phone for our work. But most of us also have a LOT of scope to cut down the use of phone. Even when I am working on my laptop without the internet, I do not get as good ideas as I do when I am off any screen, especially the phone. You need to have some hours where you are not reachable.
Meditation: I usually do it for at least 2 hours, one in the morning, one in the evening. But you don’t have to follow me. 10 minutes, any favourite YouTube channel or an already downloaded video in your laptop if you are like me, and you have a plethora of clarity.
(PS: This account of Vishal Khandelwal is a must follow on X. Beautiful life insights.)
Reading: When you have nothing to do when you are not on the phone, you do this. There is huge correlation between people who read and people who are smart. Because they give their mind space to just be, instead of merely consume.
Journalling: Sometimes I do it for just a minute, other days I do it for half an hour. Just write whatever you want to write. I use it to vent out everything, sometimes at any part of the day. Other times, I’d write gratitude (like the 3 real gratitudes of this newsletter) or write about “what is it that this is trying to teach me” on life lessons or “write my dreams”. .
Now, when you start doing one or more of these, my friend, this does not mean you will never ever get confused.
Confusion and dilemma will still be a part of your life.
What you will have, is a mindset and a lifestyle that knows what is right for you, so that you can only bring 100X value to every life you touch – be it your family, friends or people you work with.
Doing all of these isn’t easy. I wouldn’t recommend all of these, if you aren’t doing even one of these.
But could you do one of these for at least one minute every day?
It is difficult to journal 10 points of gratitude, but can you write gratitude for one good thing? The fact that you have the internet to do wonders in the world!
It is impossible to walk 10,000 steps every day, if you don’t walk much. But can you go for a walk for one minute, and then come back?
James Clear says this doesn’t change much, but it changes your identity, and that takes care of everything else.
After all, you have to live your life with a process. Just like most fit people recommend eating right, exercising and sleeping on time. You can of course starve and still lose weight, but it serves no one. Last of all you. Choosing quick fixes for confusion isn’t any different.
May you have clarity as a way of your life, my friend.
Raw One-Liners
It takes a few interactions with the most humble people that will wash away all your trauma of “bad people”. Also, it doesn’t pay to become one. :)
Goodness is a package deal that comes with boundaries.
Real Gratitudes
I am loving my ability to quietly say no these days, after a lot of obvious bruises.
Conversations with God. Every night, sharing everything before bed. I wish more people did it.
Electricity. Looks like it is a given, but what would our world look like if our devices were not charged, and our ACs and geysers went away? The most beautiful things are often invisible.
I hope you enjoyed this week’s newsletter.
Stay raw, stay real
Nishtha
Whenever you are ready, here are some of my ebooks that would help you (you can access them instantly):
The Corporate Life Handbook: The book everyone working a corporate job needs :)
The Career Changing Guide: My bestseller so far :)
How to Deal with Heartbreak: Because, life happens :(
Every Writer Needs to Read this: I wish I had this one, when I was starting out as a writer
This is What You are Looking for (Paperback): Small Life Lessons for a Happier Life