Raw and Real Conversation
Last year, I had gotten myself waxed right after Rakshabandhan.
“Who even remembers their waxing dates a year prior?” you might wanna think.
No one. Not even me bro.
Except that when I had returned from my waxing appointment, I had millions of tiny mosquito-bite kinda bubbles on my calf muscles.
My Mom and I were equally stunned.
But we thought this would pass. Boy, so wrong were we…
What then began as a gradual process was my skin allergy. I started having itching at any random part of my skin at any random part of the day.
Initially it came and went. So I did not pay much attention.
But then it started showing up in grand gestures. I visibly started shaking in my meditation, because I was itching in my ears and the skin under the nose and the hamstrings all at once. Then at one time I had a bad itch attack during an overnight train. The other time I had that itch attack in Abu Dhabi in October.
In the middle of all this, I was also visiting the best dermatologist of the best hospital, who still could not diagnose what was going on. Each time I went to her, she simply increased the dosage of the medicine.
These episodes continued happening, when I got sick and tired and told my Mom how nothing was getting better. The only thing that was getting better was my allergy was finding new places to attack on. How could you get a random itch on your left eyebrow or the area just under your ring finger is beyond me!
When I was so frustrated, my Mom suggested we consult her homeopathic doctor.
Not only that, she said it with conviction, “I can tell you with certainty that her treatment will cure you from its root.”
My Mom does not trust anyone easily, just like all wise Moms. So when Mom said this to me with so much conviction, I was halfway convinced.
…
Roll down to December, the doctor made me recollect why this happened.
I had gotten the wax done and forgotten :)
She also went on to say that it happened because it is not the best thing to get yourself waxed during monsoon.
The treatment lasted for 3.5 months, during which I was prohibited sour things completely. So no imli ki chutney, no curd, no lemon, and Mom would make magic chhole chawal without chana masala in it :)
At the end of that treatment, I was fully healed. And still am. Thank you, doctor. But she told me to be aware of 2-3 things for the rest of my life, which I still take care of, such as:
Try not getting waxed during monsoons
Drink a LOT of water.
While switching from AC environment to non-AC, try keeping a lag. This means, try turning off the AC a few minutes before I step out of the environment. Or when I get into my car or my room from outside, I should slowly make it cool, instead of going to super cool temperature all of a sudden.
…
Alright, now why am I telling this to you?
Because on 27th and 28th I travelled to Ahmedabad for a massive family function.
And I attended the party with my forearm unwaxed.
I was wearing a half-sleeved top, so if someone stood at a distance of a feet from me, they might be able to observe tiny growth on my forearm.
Now I am a fan of keeping myself well-groomed. I even went to the parlour to get threading done, but no, no, no to waxing during monsoon, baby.
“But it is a huge function, what would people say?”
I never ever had that thought in my mind, because 99% of people are my favourite people. But whatever strangers at the party think of me, no one is coming to me when:
I ruin my sleep because I am itching all night in train and reduce my next day’s productivity
Or when I am making repeated visits to hospital during my working hours, no one is coming to make money and make my business on my behalf because I got dysfunctional with allergies.
Or when I make chilla without curd, no one is going to do that to their own chilla. They are going to add curd to it!
Or people are going to eat dahi bhalla, when I am prohibited imli chutney.
Or most importantly, if I could keep myself healthy by a bit of abstinence, I think it does not make it worth it to risk my health for so many months, just to make sure people think I am groomed.
The bigger point, though, is:
So often we give up on ourselves in these tiny teeny ways, that we do not even realise. Just so that other people like us. “So what if I get itch attacks again, at least people would see my smooth forearms.”
We always cook food for others or buy things for others, suppressing what we need.
We pick a career that might lead to our father saying one day “I am proud of you”, even though we hate that career.
We skip our meals just because others are not hungry! It is beyond me how people even do it.
We get into marriages that we know are bad, but because we are engaged, we do nothing. Because we want people to think “she fixed him (even though it is impossible to fix another human)” instead of “she stood up for herself and it is bold and I could never have the courage to do it so I will pelt stones at her forever.”
We all can write a book about our people pleasing behaviours.
The great part is: unless you want to live the life like someone in your family who is a perpetual people pleaser and a serial suppresser of their sentiments, you always have the power to take the manuscript you have now and tear it apart.
Oh, btw, I looked stunning as ever. You glow differently when you don’t try to please strangers you don’t care and who are never ever pleased :)
2 Raw One-Liners:
You cannot change someone who does not wish to be changed. Change is always a personal choice.
It is disastrous to trust hearsay. Especially if it comes from someone who is poor at communication or excellent at negativity.
3 Real(ly) Helpful Hacks for Life:
Learn to drive well. You can smooth and glide through the worst of roads if you learn it well. You do not need to push and jerk people when they are driving along with you. (Yes, I have had experiences with Uber drivers :(
Understand the power of your word. Words can lift someone else, words can destroy someone else. See this song. I kinda like this song about the power of words. It may not touch your soul for its magic of music, but with words, it is a gem.)
You did not expect this, but please keep your lust under check.
Someone may want to unsubscribe just by reading this one thing, but I have to tell you how this is the reason for so many downfalls. In the book “The Palace of Illusions” Vyasa tells Draupadi to be aware of three things: 1. To hold back her question just before her marriage; 2. To not laugh when her husbands are at the top of their power; and 3. When she would be made to feel ashamed in a sabha, to hold back the curse.” She did none of those.
But that is not the main thing I am talking about right now.
The main thing is each time she acted from that emotion, it was because she was either attracted to or angry with Karan.
So she did all three things: asked the question, laughed, and cursed — all driven by lust or anger resulting from lust.
It led to things like Mahabharat in the world.
My question is, how do we think lust won’t make other mortals do similar things.
I want you to sit with it for a moment.
…
That is it for this week.
I had too much fun over the last two days, I hope you did too. <3
Nishtha Gehija
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This was beautiful and extremely courageous of you, Nishtha. Thanks for sharing your heart and life with such honesty.
Also, can you clarify how you concluded that Draupadi acted out of lust or anger arising out of lust towards Karn, in those 3 ocassions.
Keep writing and sharing.
I read your blogs too everyday. Thank you for sharing a part of your life.