Love will always come back to you
...when you least expected it, in ways you hadn't even fathomed
Raw and Real Conversation
2025 has been a weird year so far.
Especially when it comes to my relationship with my family. I have gotten distant from them in ways I had never expected.
But this is not to blame any of them. I know why I have gotten distant.
It turns out, this is the year I have read a lot of fiction books. The number is massively overpowering the number non fiction books. And in almost every fiction book, characters end up having conversations that make their life better towards the end of the book.
Over time, this bit of “having conversations” started bugging me slowly that I did not even realise that there is a difference between fiction and reality.
In other words, I started expecting I could have a conversation with my family too.
The truth is that sometimes people that exist in your real life would go to any extent to not have a conversation. Even if they do, a conversation would most likely be a blame game from their end because in their heads, unfortunately there is no difference between a conversation and a confrontation.
And I don’t blame them. Most people watch Hindi TV shows and this is what their subconscious is programmed into, just like my subconscious got programmed into having conversations, forgetting that those would never happen.
Such distances never crept up before because I have always read non-fiction books. In non-fiction books, it is you who has to take responsibility. They literally saved me from getting hurt by expecting conversations with my parents or siblings. (Yes sir, now I am back tor reading more of non-fiction again :))
Full confession: I am now working on making my relationships better by not expecting a conversation from them and doing gratitude exercise on relationships from Rhonda Byrne’s book “The Magic”. (PS: Do not try this on any other relationship, because family is the only relationships we are forced to love even though we hate them :)))
That said, when what I thought was “love” of family eventually disappeared from my life in ways even I didn’t gather, another form of love came more alive.
It is the group of people at my spiritual class.
At my spiritual class, there are some ~30 people that come every morning. Some 100 on weekends. We organise events like group meditation, group outing to a retreat centre in NCR or even planning for festivals like Navratri.
It is a family that makes you emotionally stronger, because:
You are not emotionally and embryonically attached to them. (Such a huge plus.)
They are at the spiritual class for their own development, so the relationships even though not fully platonic, aren’t fully expecting either. We care for each other in a loving way.
Just to give you examples from my life, early this week I directed a play to be performed by six of my friends at the spiritual class. It was so much fun that I now want to lead a team and help them become a better version of themselves—something I had been actively running away from my last stint when I used to lead a team.
In another instance, last month we went for a weekend retreat to the retreat centre of Brahma Kumaris in Sonipat. Here is the view from the window btw :)
The first 500 metres of exit from that retreat centre has uneven roads. We stopped at a general store for a minute. Exactly outside that shop, someone removed a cover of a tiny crater in the road, and lo and behold, my car’s left wheel legit got stuck in there. Since my car was the first one proceeding from our bunch of four cars, the friends (all men) of the next three cars who were behind me stopped too, popped out of their cars and took my wheel out. The fun fact is NONE of those asked me (aka a girl) to step out so they (aka a man) could drive the steering out of that crater.
If you look at these, these are the tiny things a family does.
They trust you. They spend time with you. They grow together.
All my jobs I had been trying to form a loving relationship with my colleagues, but because I was also someone who wanted her work to be perfect, I often had to choose between perfection at work and prattle behind work.
Why am I telling this to you?
Because in life, love will be taken away from you like a rug under your feet. It will leave you barren, burrowing on your knees and startle you as you try balancing yourself on a now dusty ground.
But if you learn to take the next step forward, and the next one, that love will come back to you again in a river.
Reminds me of this quote by one of my favourite thinkers:
At this point it is important for me to tell you that I do not go on and do all the things with friends from spiritual class that we do with family, but that is the best part. You can have dinners, go out and sit and chat with this family very rarely (like 5-6 times a year) and still have your freedom (which is alien thing for most Indian families, including mine).
This Diwali, my hope for you is that you find that love.
Here is a secret to finding it: Stop looking for it outside. Start loving yourself. It is NOT chips, spa and movies. It is all too deep and internal (you already know what I mean).
Once you love yourself and be your best friend, you will become love.
2 Raw One-Liners:
When you start losing internal battles, you start creating external ones.
The people who make us smile are the people who make us see ourselves better. Q: Do you make yourself smile?
3 Realisations I had lately:
You must always be serving your customers. Think of your customers instead of “how can I make more money.” If you do this daily, you will be surprised with money beyond your thoughts.
Always do the right thing. I am going to Dubai later this month and I am NOT going to bring gold, even if people suggest you can come wearing gold jewellery. Reason: You are allowed to bring gold only if you stay there for more than 6 months. So, I will do the right thing and not bring gold to sell it in India/add to my Mom’s collection, even if the whole world does it. I am not answerable to the world, just to myself and God. Also, life becomes so much easier and you are literally flying when you know you are as clear as water and as transparent as glass.
A winning mindset: “I don’t have goals. I just do the right thing every single day and it compounds.” (H/t: Tej Dosa on X)
That is it for this week my friend.
See you later, alligator :)
Nishtha Gehija
What’s your take on today’s conversation? Do you agree, disagree, or is there something I missed?
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