Raw and Real Conversation

When I was a kid, we used to play hopscotch in our neighbourhood.

For those who don’t know, here is how the game works:

You throw a pebble in one of the boxes drawn on the ground.
You hop on single leg through all the other boxes, and come back again hopping.
Once you do that, you throw a pebble in the next level box.
If you stumble while hopping or the pebble doesn’t land in the level of box your turn is supposed to be in, you are out. The pebble goes on to the next player. And so on.
Once you have finished all 8 or 10 boxes of the game, you get to make one box your home.
In that “home” of yours, you get to decide whether other players could hop in, or if they have to skip your home to close their level.

When I was a kid, a lot of kids who once got a “home” would make sure others didn’t get to step in their “homes”. It would make winning difficult for others, while they would continue to exercise their dominance.

I found it truly unjust on the part of others to debar others from winning, just because they had won a home.

So one day where 2-3 people already had built their homes, I worked hard in the game, and finally when I got to create my “home”, I told everyone:

Everyone can step into my home.

I wanted to make sure no one felt as left out as I did.

It evoked a reaction from others too:

They instantly allowed everyone else also to step into their “homes”.
Someone showed them winning isn’t a zero-sum game, which unfortunately isn’t the conditioning of a lot many of us.

I still remember the faces of 2-3 people who nodded their heads while allowing others to get into their “homes”, because they saw someone else model what goodness looked like.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Because we have grown into mature adults, but still think life is a zero sum game. We think someone else has to lose in order for us to win.

False.

All lies.

White lies.

The truth is:

You can win without waiting for others to lose.

You can grow high without digging a pit for everyone else.

You can be happy at the mountain peak to see others also climb that peak. Or any other peak.

This is life-changing, because:

You will now focus on your own game.
You will have zero anxiety about what someone else does.
You will be acutely aware of your strengths and play on them.

It is not an easy thing to do, especially because it is the tempting thing to do.

But it is the right thing to do. Something that will make everything easier.

I really hope you think over this over the weekend, my friend.

2 Raw One Liners:

Deal with it to heal it.
Not listening to others is sometimes a superpower.

3 (For) Real wonderful quotes I read in works of others:

You simply need someone to tell you, “you’ll figure it out.” —Four word advice, Seth Godin
The thing is, when we express our wrath, it comes back at us. And forgiveness, amazingly, does the same thing. —A Second Chance, Catherine Hoke
A very small shift in direction can lead to a very meaningful change in destination. —Atomic Habits, James Clear (yes, I started listening to its audiobook again :))

I hope you found today’s newsletter valuable.

See you next week.

Stay raw, stay real, and never stop reading.

Nishtha Gehija

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Instant access ebooks for your reading, and spend some time with yourself:

The Corporate Life Handbook: The book everyone working a corporate job needs :)
The Career Changing Guide: My bestseller so far :)
How to Deal with Heartbreak: Because, life happens :(
Every Writer Needs to Read this: I wish I had this one, when I was starting out as a writer

This is What You are Looking for (Paperback): Small Life Lessons for a Happier Life

Raw and Real by Nishtha

Life lesson from sports