Lakh chhipaaoge chhip na sakega asli nakli chehra
Face truly is the index of the mind
Raw and Real Conversation
Earlier this week I ordered some 4-5 books from Amazon. It was my stock for the long weekend reads.
One of those books was a very popular book that some influencers on LinkedIn had recommended. Alright then, let us give this book (that I am not at all drawn towards) a try.
As I flipped the book to the back cover, the author’s picture was also there.
Exactly at that moment I knew the book is going to be blah, meh, ew.
Which is what it was. I have now put it in my car boot for my car cleaning bhaiya to carry it for his daughter.
Please note that this is not a comment on the looks of that author. I don’t care how anyone looks.
Instead, what is very much visible through anyone’s face is who they are as a person.
It is not about the high resolution picture, make up, lighting, some face mark or some other mark that the world identifies as “less beautiful”. Yet the in someone’s face, their inner being is clearly visible. They might not certainly be “bad” or “evil” but you clearly know they are not your type.
It is visible in people’s LinkedIn pictures, their “happy” Instagram carousels and WhatsApp DPs clicked candidly at the perfect golden hour.
The best part is we all have this ability and this intuition to gauge people.
The worst part is some of us are too engaged in hating on others, giving people the needless benefit of doubt and ignoring the obvious behind what is said. It is a habit because we are too scared to trust ourselves. So we trust someone who does not need to be trusted. At least later we would blame them for messing up and not ourselves for making the wrong decision.
Take a deep breath bro.
For example, when I get LinkedIn connection requests, I can tell clearly from the sender’s picture if they genuinely intend to connect or they are simply here to spam or meander around.
I even did 2-3 experiments where the other person’s profile was good but DP told me they are not a good person I would want to be connected with, yet I accepted the connection request. Never, never once did they disappoint me. Status quo is a state well reflected in the face.
See this uncle in the picture. He was one of those 2-3 shady people whose connection request I accepted. My (internal) response to the first message: “Bhai it is none of your business how I am doing. Especially if you are not following that up with a work line.”
Then I removed the connection request, and lo and behold the true colours ladies and gentlemen. It makes me wonder people are even keeping track of who they are connected with. Even in my most free and time-wasting moments I have never gone down that ditch.
Obviously I have now blocked him (after taking this screenshot of course).
Not because he was coming to do some dirty talk with me. But I honestly am not that person who talks to random strangers on the internet about anything other than work. This person might be a diamond for some. For me, it is simply an unwanted rock.
What I am trying to tell you is a border thing, that we are interacting with people all of the time.
If you hire the wrong person who is right on paper, you have a daily headache.
If you join the wrong company where your manager is apparently successful yet political, you will suffer daily.
Even if you hire the wrong house help who is visibly hands on, they are going to cause you a lot of unwanted pain.
If the intuition says someone might not be your type, they are not worth even a dime of your time. Your life is not a guinea pig where you allow all kinds of people to come experiment with your mindset and energy.
This means that you have to keep looking for the right person. With the right person, you will always know. They say this with marriage however you live your life with other people too. Pick those people really well. You are not here to change everyone with your goodness. Over time their internal Komalika will rob you of your goodness.
Have more options. The first one is not the last one. Especially at all the relationships you have chosen (which is everyone other than your blood relatives).
If you have a “chalta hai” attitude towards yourself, the universe will replicate it with people exactly like that.
You have a class. May you bring only people who match that.
2 Raw One-Liners
I have 10 books inside of me, but I am too tired to write them…
Maybe the endgame is not to visit as many places in the world, but to sit along with your cousins and jam to Kun Faaya Kun in your real voices.
3 (for) Real nice quotes I found that you might love:
I keep an excel with some good quotes I come across. Here are some from the archive which I added last week:
“There’ll be happiness after me/But there was happiness because of me” —Taylor Swift
“We are embarrassed about things we should be proud of, and proud of things we should be embarrassed about.” —Jerry Seinfeld (His TED talk at Duke is WOW. Along with the content of course, he is self-assured and loud without being demeaning. I don’t remember the last time I saw someone so dignified who wasn’t putting a facade.)
“You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.” ― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
That is it my friend.
Have a great long weekend.
Wish you have all the fun with the right people :)
Nishtha Gehija
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