If anyone has ever been bad to you, read this...

...this might set you free

Raw and Real Conversation

Life isn’t fair.

We are nice to people. Give our best in our relationships (be of any kind) with them. We are present and giving.

And they walk over us. They betray us. They go on to say things or act like we had never existed in the first place.

It isn’t easy to be on the receiving end of things, especially when you were your best with those colleagues, with those friends, with people you trusted.

You know it makes you question your entire existence:

Should I have done something better?
Could I make it better now?
What if I could do that one thing differently so they would not treat me the way they did?

But the answer rarely comes…

Leaving our healing to ourselves.

But here is something I want to offer you…

Every person, every single person who goes on to hurt you is hurting inside.

Yes, you read that correct. Now read that again:

Every single person who goes on to hurt you is deeply hurt inside.

It is the law of physics. You cannot give what you don’t have.

Here is the thing: You might not be able to see they are hurt inside. You can only see the sadist side of theirs. Or the side of theirs that has forgotten to be human.

But beneath the friends who rob you of their friendship, the colleagues who don’t seem to be getting anywhere with rudeness, and the family that hasn’t sat down with you even once to ask you are feeling…everyone is empty inside.

You just don’t see it. Because they fake it so well and so naturally. But they aren’t really present and kind with themselves either.

Reminds me of this conversation:

The boss on the listening side is pretending to listen, but hasn’t really listened.
The people who walk over us pretend to do it out of ignorance, but haven’t really sat down to be aware of their ignorance!

…

What does it mean to you and I?

Should we also ignore them and our feelings?

Absolutely not.

Here is something I remind myself, if I am walked over (don’t worry, over time you get better at reducing the number of people to walk over you :))

1. What they said is a reflection of who they are. It does not define me.

2. Even when I am supremely happy because of a conversation, I still remind myself: This conversation does not define me. I am happy regardless.

3. I do not try to prove anything to them, and go about my life. (Which is where, having a life you adore is so important, so that you do not depend on others to give you a life).

4. Even if you can’t see it, they are suffering. (I cannot tell you how many times I had thought that this is such an inhuman person, and later on I realised they are suffering more than the suffering they are giving me. Every single time. I guarantee you my friend, even though I do not know the person who is being bad to you, they are worse to themselves.)

What does it mean to you and I?

In spirituality, we are taught, “gussa nahi, rehem karo”.

Translated: Do not get angry on people who deserve pity.

So, instead of getting angry, try this. Most likely it won’t be possible to do that in a conversation, so do that in your mind. It may or may not free them. It will certainly free you.

At the end of the day, we want freedom for you. Everyone is going to do what they do nonetheless, but you also do what is necessary for you to do: not get upset when their mean behaviour shows up). This way you are doing way better contribution to the world, than you had ever expected.

Keep going, my friend.

You got this.

And let me leave you with this one insight from @urakarla on X:

To summarise, each time anyone walks over you, remind yourself:

• They are broken inside. Even if I can’t see it.

• Have pity for them instead of anger

• Go fix what you can in your life or draw boundaries, instead of expecting them to do that for you.

2 Raw One Liners:

• Everything will make sense eventually.

• If anything about a relationship is bothering you, just ask. You have no idea how often you and them are on the same page.

3 (for) Real wonderful quotes I came across, that you must read too:

1. I never wrote down things to remember; I always wrote things down so I could forget. —Greenlights, Matthew McConaughey

2. The source of your power is not in managing other people, it’s in your response. —The Let Them Theory, Mel Robbins

3. Sometimes people think if they love a broken person enough, they can be what finally repair them, but the problem with that is the other person just ends up broken, too. —It starts with us, Colleen Hoover

That is it, my friend.

I hope you find freedom in today’s edition.

See you next week.

Stay raw, stay real, and never stop reading :)

Nishtha Gehija

LinkedIn | X | Daily blog | Weekly newsletter

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Instant access ebooks for your reading, and spend some time with yourself:

The Corporate Life Handbook: The book everyone working a corporate job needs :)
The Career Changing Guide: My bestseller so far :)
How to Deal with Heartbreak: Because, life happens :(
Every Writer Needs to Read this: I wish I had this one, when I was starting out as a writer

This is What You are Looking for (Paperback): Small Life Lessons for a Happier Life

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