I want to speak about my father
...yes, on Women's Day
Raw and Real Conversation
Hey Friends!
Happy Women’s Day, to all my girlies :)
And to all the wonderful men who make the world a beautiful place for women :))
Today I want to speak about the only man in my life: my father.
I want to speak of him today, because it is easy to honour women and speak of them. Little is spoken of the men who enable that.
I want to do exactly that.
Let’s go.
My father had very difficult upbringing.
Started working when he was in single digits of age.
Eldest son in a family of 5 siblings, born to parents that fled Pakistan at the time of partition, he had a lot to deal with.
As a result, a lot of that got transferred to his mindset, too. Which means, he was super conservative in his early years as a father.
He put severe restrictions on my three elder sisters, expected them to be back at home before sunset, and wasn’t very liberal with them.
With me, slowly, things changed.
I was privileged to be sent out of hometown to study, I work in NCR and not at hometown, and am single by choice and will continue to be so forever, but he has never questioned my decision.
All of this would not have been easy for him to change.
But the fact he did, is something I want to bring about today.
The reason:
We all are babies of trauma.
So have I been.
Some mornings as a kid I would wake up to both my parents shouting at each other. If there were a few days that fights didn’t happen, I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it did, always.
I took my own sweet time and hazaar mistakes to deal with that trauma myself.
Life is much better now. So much better that I do not recognise the old me.
Which is why, I want to take a moment to talk about my father on Women’s Day. He did all he could to change himself without me ever asking, so I could get the foundation of the life I have right now.
Not only my father, my mother who was always told to numb her voice down, has always been my biggest champion to live with my head held high. Each time I am anxious for no reason, I visualise my Mom standing right in front of me, saying, “Teri galti kuch nahi hai, to kyun ghabra rahi hai?” It instantly calms me, because hey, the anxiety wasn’t serving any purpose.
Same is the case with my three elder sisters. They have taken care of me in childhood in ways only a parent could.
I have been blessed with the privilege to be one of the most different women our family has ever seen.
It is very important for me to say this, especially because:
my parents and I are still not best friends. We love each other, but not besties.
my sisters have grown very distant from me over the last 7-8 years.
my life with my family is not as close as it ought to be.
Which is why, you must know that despite all of that I am who I am because I stand on the shoulders of real sacrifices of my family.
Just because love isn’t visible as of now, does not mean it is not binding us.
It is binding us very well. And laying the roots for a “successful woman” most women turn out to be.
This Women’s Day, to the fathers, mothers, and siblings who “create a successful woman.”
A successful woman is successful because of the people whose shoulders she rests on. In the picture below, because of the people whose lap she sits on :)
Raw One Liners:
The best thing you will ever earn is the joy after doing focussed work. Period.
Money buys many tangible things, but one intangible thing it buys is confidence. Get rich, guys.
Real Gratitudes:
To all the men who take care of women around you. The world is such a beautiful place because of you, you have no idea!
If you are a parent and are raising a kid, no matter a son or a boy. The way you raise them is how they will treat themselves and the other gender too. Kudos!
And, to us women. To every single one of you who has drawn boundaries, said no, and will continue doing so. Your no opens up so many yeses for joy :)
That is it, friends.
Stay raw, stay real, and never stop reading :)
Nishtha Gehija
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Instant access ebooks for your reading, and spend some time with yourself:
The Corporate Life Handbook: The book everyone working a corporate job needs :)
The Career Changing Guide: My bestseller so far :)
How to Deal with Heartbreak: Because, life happens :(
Every Writer Needs to Read this: I wish I had this one, when I was starting out as a writer
This is What You are Looking for (Paperback): Small Life Lessons for a Happier Life