I took a bio break to eat paneer
No, this is NOT a click bait :)
Raw and Real Conversation
Hello hello my friend,
A lot of us have grown up seeing sacrifices as a default of life.
Our moms sacrificed their emotional needs often. Along with that, unfortunately and unconsciously, she was also the torchbearer of “I will not take care of myself because that is how I will prove to everyone I love them”.
She did not do it on purpose. This was the mindset that was passed on to her from her previous generations.
Our father sacrificed his emotional needs too. Most of us, myself included, have seen our fathers work really hard to make ends meet. The pursuit of all of which was again led by multiple sacrifices.
Taking from that environment, a lot of us have quietly become that.
Our role was to pick the best qualities of both our parents. As we loved them infinitely, we also needed to do what they didn’t—take care of ourselves.
As a result, we start grinding in long working hours. Without worrying about the repercussions of it on our mental and physical health.
We are trying to seek pleasure in movies and scrolling, while we must ideally derive it from movement and strolling.
Followed by the ubiquitous complaint of “my job leaves me no time to exercise or eat well.”
All lies.
Blatant lies.
Spineless lies.
The truth is, most people haven’t paused to think about how they can be fit and healthy while working. Don’t be most people.
Let me give you an example.
I eat multiple meals a day.
Most of them are small meals such as a handful of chana, a paneer piece, a banana, and so on. Learned it from Rujuta Diwekar books and videos. All of it leads to smaller lunches and dinners, and consequent health and fitness.
Last week on Women’s Day, I was coordinating an event as a host. I sat with a panel of six women on stage. Had anticipated my role to last 1-1.5 hour max. However, 45 minutes in, I realised the event was going to take at least 2.5-3 hours.
So in the middle of the event, sitting on the stage, while holding a mic in my hand and the most beautiful smile ever, my stomach was shouting from starvation. I controlled it for a good 15-20 minutes.
Eventually I had an inner monologue: Would anyone stop me if I had to go to the washroom? :)
So :) :) once another presenter came over to chat something to other panelists, I went off stage, grabbed my handbag from the seat in the front row, and headed to the washroom.
Mind you, I was still supposed to be on stage. However, who stops a girl with her handbag to go to the washroom :))) (Hint: People think it is either to pee or she needs to change her sanitary napkin, but no one really asks lol.)
En route to the washroom, just before I opened the door, I opened my bag, grabbed the tukda of paneer I was carrying in a tiny dabba that comes in tiffin boxes, and quickly munched it. My stomach quickly calmed down. It was also the evening time around 5.15 pm, during which time, if we do not have a meal, we are bound to eat disastrously during dinner and eventually become obese and unfit.
Not only this, when we reached the event during afternoon at 3, I quietly sat on a bench, took out my banana from my bag, and ate it right there, even if I knew people would have quickly glanced a look at me.
Oh, btw, banana becomes a smoothie in a bag, so I ordered this cute banana case from Amazon many years ago. It might be one of the best investment of my life :)
What I am trying to tell you, my friend, is this:
If you don’t eat well, how will you function properly?
Starving is not a sign of commitment. If anything, it is a sign of lack of commitment to yourself.
You need to take care of yourself, without worrying about what people will think of you. People will always think something of you. Till when will you continue being their prisoner? Reminds me of this:
A huge part of not taking care of our health is unconsciously genetic. Our parents never did it. In pursuit of their love and responsibility for us. They are wonderful people. But you and I can make smarter choices with our health. Because with the sacrifices our parents made, we were able to become highly educated. With education and money, comes wisdom to make smarter choices.
Lastly, you can live life on your own terms without hurting anyone and while being the kindest person ever. Applies to all areas of life. You don’t have to compromise on anything.
Let me leave you with a story from last year:
It’s 5th January 2024. I woke up with a coughing fit. Non-stop. Extremely painful. Made everything unbearable. So terrible that I could neither sleep or sit.
A day prior I had returned from a trip to the mountains. And did not clothe myself with adequate warm clothes. That too in peak winter. It was not as cold at the altitude where we started. Anyhow, I believe that carelessness took the best of me.
Back to this coughing fit, I did not want to disturb my landlord. Nor did I want to wake up other girls who stayed in the apartments above and below me. So I gathered the courage to look up on Google, and called an ambulance at home.
Yes, I did exactly that!
I had been honest with them on phone over my exact situation, that I was able to walk and move, etc., but was sick enough to be able to actually do that.
When I walked out of the ambulance, I remember how two staff members at the hospital emergency laughed off at me. Maybe for the first time ever they saw a patient walk out of an ambulance herself, instead of being rolled on a stretcher!
I was nebulised, stayed in the hospital for half a day, and sent back home. Later during the day my landlord came, because I had informed them that I left the key at home :)
Why am I telling this to you?
Because whenever you are ill, there is no one that can make you feel better. Other than doctors, of course. Yes, I was extreme to the extent of not asking for help, however, even for people who are surrounded by people, no one will make your health better.
No one is there to bear your pain for you, you have to do it yourself. Even if you have a village surrounding you.
Most of us live in a curative way of life. If something bad arises, we deal with it. What would ideally help us, is to live in a preventive way of life, by taking care of our health before it worsens.
The above sickness was something none of us can control. But all of us have the wisdom to control how we take care of our health in our daily lives.
We do not have to wait for a tragedy to do that.
We can just start with getting off our chair and taking a bio break :)
2 Raw One Liners
You can be inspired by an influencer without trying to be like them. Mimicry and mesmerisation don't need to walk hand in hand.
It breaks my heart to see how much the world we live in today needs empathy more than love, happiness, money. People would be much rather have you understand their pain than you coaxing them to find happiness by forgetting their pain.
3 (for) Real Wonderful Lines that you must read:
If you want to be calm, you have to move on! —It doesn’t have to be crazy at work, by Jason Fried
Teachers don’t ask students to write essays because the world needs more student essays. The point of writing essays is to strengthen students’ critical-thinking skills; in the same way that lifting weights is useful no matter what sport an athlete plays, writing essays develops skills necessary for whatever job a college student will eventually get. —Why AI isn’t going to make art, by Ted Chiang (Please do yourself a favour and read this article.)
If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out. —Only Dull People are Brilliant at Breakfast, by Oscar Wilde
That is it for this week, my friend.
Wish you are enjoying your long weekend.
I’ll see you all next week.
Stay raw, stay real, and never stop reading :)
Nishtha Gehija
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Instant access ebooks for your reading, and spend some time with yourself:
The Corporate Life Handbook: The book everyone working a corporate job needs :)
The Career Changing Guide: My bestseller so far :)
How to Deal with Heartbreak: Because, life happens :(
Every Writer Needs to Read this: I wish I had this one, when I was starting out as a writer
This is What You are Looking for (Paperback): Small Life Lessons for a Happier Life