Raw and Real Conversation:
It’s 6 am. I am in the train en route to my hometown for Diwali.
The day started well. I meditated before bathing and preparing breakfast, the weather was calm enough to not warrant a jacket, and the cab driver was very nice and kind (blessings like these).
And the moment the train started, so many people drew their curtains and went to sleep.
As I write this essay for you.
I had purposefully decided to write this essay on a Saturday morning, because I want to walk you through my last week that was full of twists and turns.
(At the end I will share with you why.)
This is not going to be me at my “nicest” and most polished version, but I think it is important to share this side with you as well.
So, let’s go have a sneak peek into my last week:
Sunday, 01 November:
I desperately need a web designer. Out of the blue I remember someone I had worked with on a project over 12 years ago. Reached out to him on Facebook. Lol (not lo) and behold, I had forgotten how much he lacked enthusiasm.
In our chat again, was so un-enthused, that for once I ignored it and gave him brief about the project.
…
I had also connected with a photographer earlier that week, who was about to shoot pictures with me on a Sunday. Except, he hadn’t spoken at the studio! Bhai…
So instead of waiting, I spoke to the studio, and found one slot for Tuesday. After much back-and-forth, the photographer agreed, and I booked it.
Monday, 02 November:
I had a word with this web developer, and even on my worst days (did I deserve babe, all the hell you gave me), I am not so discharged. I am scared I cannot hand over my baby to this web developer who is simply doing this as a hobby project.
Meanwhile my lovely 19-year-old niece dug up her contacts and sent me another web developer’s contacts. I called him up in the late afternoon, while walking around in my balcony, not ready to mourn my project by giving it to developer 1.
And man, this kid, 22-year-developer is SOO enthusiastic, he KNOWS his job really well, tells me things that need to be done, and I am clear he wants more experience. What a perfect combination. We agree. I have not yet said to the developer 1, who is anyway waiting to get a nudge.
…
I also need some help from a conglomerate, and I could not find those things on their website. So I found its CEO on LinkedIn, DM’ed him on Saturday, and now that CEO’s team is personally assisting me (they will charge, of course, but the bigger takeaway is that you can just do things.)
…
I even went shopping after dinner (8-9 pm) for the Tuesday shoot. Bought a black pant (the exact one which I already have, but is now become double-shaded, because I am tired of asking my kapde dhone waale bhaiya to dry it in shade).
Also bought a long shirt which I thought was wow, and then when I came home, I did not like it. And I do not want ₹4K to rot like this. So tomorrow before the shoot, we will go return it. The more I hate the mall, the more my life makes me go there. A life lesson, then, is to never have extreme emotions. Just breeze through life.
Tuesday, 03 November:
After over 2-3 weeks of ruckus, today is the day I decide to make sure EVERYTHING gets done, and gets done the way I want it.
We start the day with a little writing, 90 minutes or so. Cannot afford to miss writing a single day.
Then my car is not starting for 1-2 days. ChatGPT, after asking me all questions, tells me to call roadside assistance so they could jump start it. The roadside assistance tells me the said person will reach me in 1.5 hours, but bro I gotta go to the mall to return my things, do my client work for the day, come home on time for Urban company hair dresser to come, and then go for the shoot too.
Things work out surprisingly well, and the roadside assistance arrives in less than 15 minutes. So I go to the mall right after lunch, return the shirt, and also come with a nice striped sweater and a nice woollen shawl.
…
Come back home, and my Pronto didi is 30 minutes late. She and the Urban Company hair dresser who will blow dry my hair for the shoot — both are now working together at 4. With God’s grace, both strangers are kind to coordinate, and he moves around when the Didi is cleaning.
In another world, my Mom is sending me measurements of Papa’s sweaters, for me to order them. I have still not executed on that ask.
The blow dry as well as cleaning get done, and I leave around 5.15 for the 6 pm shoot. Carry louki ka parantha for dinner, reach at 6.20, and then another surprise awaits us. (I am sorry, I know when Google maps says 45 minutes in peak hours, I must expect it to take 20% extra.)
…
The wonderful photographer says it is not recommended to wear white. And here I was, dressed up in my best white shirt. Anyway, I am so glad I carried 3-4 sets of outfits, and we found the right one.
The shoot goes really, really well. In just random experimenting of things here and there, we stumble on some really really good ideas. Please worry not, I will show all of those to you.
These kids in their 20s were also surprised that louki ka parantha could taste so good. Yes bro, this is how even I feed myself louki :)
We leave at 8.30, I reach home at 9.20, and I contemplate life. I REALLY need some off time doing nothing. This is my raambaan to being productive in the outside world.
Wednesday, 04 November:
I was supposed to receive raw pictures last night. Did not.
Anyway, the photographer, after continuous reminding to our first conversation about my timeline, has agreed to deliver 4 edited pictures. I only like 1 in those 4, and am still waiting for all of those raw pictures.
Another designer who needed those photographs has now started following up. And now I am the person sending screenshots of these two boys to each other.
We also do some meaningful work, and I assure the nice web developer that he need not be scared that he does not have a GST. It makes my heart go merry when I assure someone in a professional space that they need not worry. The kid could not be happier.
Thursday, 05 November:
Requested the photographer for raw pictures again, to no avail. At this point I have mentally composed a blog in my head, writing about becoming a person of “generational values” (about staying true to your word) versus “generational wealth” that I will sneakily post after 3 months, so that no one knows what ignited it :)
Waited for the web developer to respond. It turns out, he is so meticulous that he was working already (I saw the work on Friday), but he felt he did not need to give an update. I gave him another freelance gyan of “you can never update too much”. Always keep the client updated, at least once a day/week, based on the nature of the project. He is again grateful for getting mentored too :)
The web developer 1, on the other hand, does not have an idea of what the project would entail. So I will let go of him if at all he reaches out after Diwali.
Also, in another news, my nutritionist has forgotten what she told me 2 weeks back. This is why, kids, you must either take notes by hand, or at least read those AI generated notes before a call.
Friday, 06 November:
Requested the photographer for pictures again. It brings back so many memories of my past life when I used to ask my team to do their work, but I would keep wondering that when they say “they would deliver by Wednesday, maybe their Wednesday is Saturday :)”
At this point he thinks I am the villain in his life story, and at this point I am okay with him thinking that, as long as he gives me the pictures before my Sunday morning post of the project announcement.
…
Anyway, I have another development too.
My father suggested a change in the title of the project. I said yes, then was worried the entire day on how I jeopardised the well-written words I had used, and now I will have to have another empathetic, “I understand you, you are the best, but this is why the old one works more” conversation, before I get it back to what I want.
Another lesson learnt was that as a functioning adult you may have dealt with your insecurities and moved on, but the providers of that insecurity still (unintentionally) thrive in making you insecure and safe. The biggest lesson is reach out to people who are your customers and not the ones who want to support you in your misery but are often scared of success (and risks) as a life default (no matter how much they love you).
…
I was doing all of this while working on my clients’ work as usual and never missing a beat.
Bro, what a masterclass in productivity this was.
I have always been impatient in shipping work, and it has led to wonderful things getting done for my career as well as my clients. But at this point I feel I really, really need to slow down. Or make better systems. Which we will. For sure. In a week or so I will start posting my screen time (phone and laptop) publicly every week, so that it makes me accountable and leave others inspired.
And most importantly, I am so so proud of myself every single day.
It takes courage to run a one-person business anyway, but even greater courage to:
build a new mega project like a professional,
run it with three freelancers so they are coordinated and deliver before the time I announce,
be nice to your parents while staying true to yourself,
and then turning off the internet.
I wanted to share this with you because often when we see a project completed, that is what we see: a project completed. But the process behind this is always messy. When you deal with that mess, you become a different person altogether.
I do not “have to” do all this that I told you. I could quit very well right at the moment and no one would miss. But the fact that I “get to” do this, is where all the magic lies.
Exactly 12 years ago I would have died to be in this place, to be able to launch a project at this scale, while making money and joy in the business I love, and be so self-assured about it.
It only, only fills me up with spectacular gratitude.
PS: Special Special announcement:
By the way, tomorrow on Diwali, and Sunday, 08 November, 11 am India Time, I am going to announce my brand new project across LinkedIn, Instagram, X.
It is going to be a post that gives you a lot of details of the project (the details that matter to YOU), and I will tell you how WITH YOU, we all will do the 100% project reveal together on 15th November.
But before that, I hope you do tune in tomorrow to like, be excited together, and see my pictures in blow-dried hair, should I receive them today :)
2 Raw-One Liners:
Anger doesn’t change ANYTHING.
You are your words.
3 (for) Real Gratitudes:
A family of mummy-papa- nani and their 3 year old is around me in th train right now. Yet the fact that the kid is not crying, I am so grateful :)
To be able to read good books. What the world is even, without books.
To be able to be 85% great at time management. Time is all you have!
Chalo chalo, I hope to see you tomorrow.
This is something I have waited for to happen for over a decade. I hope you come celebrate in my joy as I post this announcement at 11 am on LinkedIn, Instagram, X.
Even if you don’t, I wish you and your family a very happy and lit Diwali :):)
Thank you so much, my friend.
Nishtha Gehija
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