Raw and Real Conversation
In my first two jobs, I was the Internal Auditor everybody was scared of.
The reason was quite unusual: I would do everything right. And I (still) am obsessed with becoming successful. As a result, my success meant at least 2-3 people had to be fired from their jobs ever year.
This was one part of that job that I did not like, no matter how important it was sometimes to let go of the person who was unfit for their job.
In my third (and last job), I was the Content Manager and leading the team. Like things go in leading any team, at one point after multiple chances, feedback and support to an underperforming team member, you have to amicably let go of them.
There was one such team member I had to get on a virtual 1:1 with, to do exactly that. Let’s call her Rani. Rani was in her classroom in her college in a free period, and there were 2-3 other people too in the same room when she joined. So I requested her to get to a place where she was alone, and then amicably told her the bad news.
Of course, she cried. And I tried to be as empathetic to her as possible.
After she moved on from the job, a part of me often wondered if Rani hated me in the sinews of her being.
By matters of chance, a good friend of hers, Pinki, was still in the team. A few months later, we had a huge event at Siri Fort, where most of our team was present. Rani and Pinki had also come, which I was unaware of. And while I was busy doing something in another row, Rani popped out of nowhere and gave me a hug.
That hug healed me in so many ways. Most of all, the guilt of firing someone.
Another year later Pinki told me about Rani that ever since Rani had moved on from the team, she found a totally new, different version of herself. She was happier, and so much better than who she was in the job. I felt so relieved for her, again.
And now as a writer, I have this policy in full force: Never take away anyone else’s job.
What does this mean?
I often come across these posts by a CEO, and I know she hired a writer who is using ChatGPT to make her posts sound unlike posts of every other ChatGPT content. (just like your Mom knew when you were hungry, trust me, a real writer knows in her sleep when something is human written and something is AI written with a prompt to make it non-AI written).
In another universe, I have chatted with this CEO several times over cold emails, never asking for anything, simply writing an email to her with what I have liked about her. Yet, I decided NOT to pitch to her with my credentials (and human writing that would sound like her), because that simply means: I will take away someone else’s job.
I know it is the least “logical” thinking. If you can offer something better, go offer it and grab the opportunity!
But here is what I always know for sure:
There is no “limited” number of jobs in the market. You can create as many opportunities for yourself as you want, and go shine.
And I am also super confident that my dedication and excellence is the top 1% of the writers’ market.
So if you do SWOT analysis, the skill (along with dedication and commitment aka attitude) is my strength and to be able to create any platform to express those skills is the opportunity. That simply takes away the weakness and insecurity of taking someone else’s job. Nor is there any threat that “I must go out and grab food from everyone else’s plate.”
Also, when you are a service provider of your skills, you are not just any replaceable cog in the machinery. You gotta be a linchpin (as Seth Godin says) to become impeccable.
A linchpin in truest sense amicably lets go of opportunities to choose the best, and does not predate upon someone else’s bread and butter.
PS: Some people you know for sure you will end up working together with, this CEO is one of them. I just know like I know like I know, without any evidence. But I know. Some day.
…
Okay, so what is the sort-of lesson I want you to walk away with today?
One, it is good to have values in life. They are your compass of what you will do and what you will never do.
Two, sometimes it is necessary to do the thing that you do not want to, because it will make everything else better.
Three, life is a path of going from what you don’t want to what you do want.
Four, you can always do the things you don’t want your own way.
Lastly, make yourself abundant to an extent that you cook your own food, and do not look into someone else’s plate. But a part of me believes those opportunities will come to you only if you operate by the values that have a foundation of goodness, and not wretchedness.
Apparently meaningless, but painfully meaningful lesson here.
2 Raw One-Liners:
Maturity is realising your insecurity is nobody else’s business. You gotta deal with them.
The anger is not worth it. Try action instead.
3 (for) Real things I am grateful for lately:
The ability to close the laptop once the work is done. Scrolling meaninglessly is what we are done with.
The nice weather of Delhi, which I have mentioned before too. This pre-Diwali month is our heaven :)
Repeating again, but walking in a park or any natural spot is like coming alive. Until at least 100 people write to me that they have started walking in nature at least once a week, I might have to keep repeating it baby!
PS: Today is the last day for getting “The Project” at discounted rates. If you like it, go grab it.
Nishtha Gehija
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20s versus 30s: The strange and unique differences between the two most important decades of your life
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How to Deal with Heartbreak: A book almost everyone needs but no one gives you right in your hand. If you don’t need this, get this for a friend you know certainly needs it.
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