I am doing good, but I am not sure
Fear has a unique way of playing out in each one of our lives.
Hello my friend,
My new ebook 20s versus 30s is out now.
It is for people in their 20s who feel lost.
And people in their 30s who wish who knew some life truths way back in their 20s.
Quick, easy, and light read for this weekend.
The launch offer is valid only till Monday 11th July 2025, post which the pricing goes back to normal, and is NEVER coming back again.
This is one of the initial readers said:
If you want to replace scrolling with something meaningful, I’d highly recommend check out the book here. You get an instant access in your email.
Alright then, let’s talk about our raw and real conversation.
Raw and Real Conversation
Few weeks back I wrote a post on “When I was starting out, I was desperate”.
In response to it, one of the readers sent a question, which I think is going to be useful for a lot of you.
Here is the question she asked:
I often find it hard to stop myself from getting swayed by what everyone else is doing. That constant feeling of “you can do more” never leaves my head, and I end up trying to do everything.
For example, you are a successful author. If you wanted, you could grow even faster by doing YouTube, Instagram, brand deals, chasing views, and more. But somehow, you stay focused on your core work. How do you do that?
In my case, I am a successful freelance XXX and XXX. (Hidden to protect her privacy.) I earn well and genuinely love the work I do. But there is always this thought that I should be launching courses, teaching, and growing a personal brand, because that is what everyone says works. It brings more visibility, more income, and more growth.
But honestly, I do not want to do all that. Still, there is this FOMO. A voice in my head says, “Why are you not doing it? You would do great.” And then I feel a bit lost or even stupid for not capitalizing on it.
How do I feel content with my choices and stop such voices?
I hope this makes sense. I would really love to hear your thoughts or experience on this. Thank you so much. Love ya <3
She is so much of who I was when I was in my 20s.
Which is what I captured in the ebook 20s versus 30s.
I think the answer to this question lies in multiple perspectives, which I will try to share here. All of these are answers to self-reflections of why I am not too much into diversification as this reader mentioned, and I hope through my journey you will find answers to your own. Or at the least, grounds to consider when you are making your own decisions.
Why I don’t do reels, shorts, etc.?
When I write, I think as well. I do not always have an end while writing. It emerges during the writing process. Something only writing gives you the liberty to do.
On the other hand, when you are creating reels, shorts, etc., you need to know the end before you start.
Also, I am naturally attracted towards books and articles like these, versus videos. So I try to do more of that, instead of trying to do what everyone else does.
This does not mean reels and shorts are bad (which btw they are), but they are certainly not the best for my energy levels. You have to be very picky about what you give your attention to.
What is your current goal?
My current goal is to write beautiful, real and relatable books. Let that heart come out on a paper.
I *might* make more money through selling my books by building a brand on YouTube, Instagram, etc., but let me tell you a secret:
No book becomes a sustainable bestseller because someone has a huge social media following. A book becomes a sustainable bestseller because it is written very well.
You learn from your past
In my past life, I was the Content Manager of Ankur Warikoo, growing his brand from start till 9.2 million plus followers, leading a team, while building a presence on almost every platform.
When I walked out of that team mid 2023, I was very clear I did not want to do that. No questions to the wonderful team, it was simply a realisation of the truth I wanted to live about myself.
With Ankur, my role had elevated from “content writer” to “content manager”. This meant every single day there was only increasing scope to do less of execution and do more of getting things done. It was a task of managing a team, while they did all the work of doing videos, thumbnails, distribution, data, etc. Good for someone who likes getting things done. Good for someone who likes to climb the corporate pyramid. Over time, I realised I was not one of them.
I now know that I want to be an Individual Contributor, and not manage a team. And not just be another “content writer” on the internet. I wanted to be just the one who does what she does.
It is a choice, after figuring out and having lived both sides of the coin: The “grand” side of doing it all—wonderful, looks good on the resume, internet and family gatherings braggings. And the “glorious” side of doing very few things, and excelling at it excited me far more.
It is important to note that this does not mean I do not respect Ankur or any other influencers who are creating content consistently. I respect them a lot, because I have experienced first hand how much effort goes behind in relentlessly sticking to the process and creating content.
Just that it’s (not) me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me :)
That said, money is very important
All the confidence I have here telling you the things that I wish I knew earlier, comes from experience and also managing money well.
Listen to no one who tells you money is not important. It is, just that never at the cost of your soul and happiness.
Never say never.
At the same time, yours truly is not saying “I would never launch a course." I might. I might not. I have no idea.
But what I know for sure is I am going to write tens of books and put them out into the world. For now, focusing on what to capitalise is what I am sure about.
Social media drains you so much
It drains you as a consumer, it drains you as a creator, it is a draining machine. I once read a quote that said “if it is free, you are the product.”
So a huge part of my goal is to meet you all here, via emails. Where no one is judging you for the views, engagement, likes, and all the metrics.
Yes, social media is important. But if you are planning to do all the socials, please know the repercussions too. And always always know, your self worth is never dependent on how many people like you.
I want to work hard my way.
I work hard. Very hard. Very very hard. But I work typing my fingers out on my computer, not by manicuring my fingers to make them look good when I get into my video. No judgement against those who do, but we have to have clarity on what we want.
How about constant customer acquisition?
I am a fan of sharing your journey online, which I do on LinkedIn and sometimes X. People who relate, will find you. And let me share a secret, I am also working on 2-3 ways of getting more readers, none of which is related to me being active on social media. Will share when things start rolling.
The thing is, we all can go deep in reaching out to more customers without going too deep into socials.
The problem is, we have shut our mind to think of possibilities beyond social media (sometimes myself included). We really really need to open up my friend.
The definition of “focus” according to Steve Jobs?
Jony Ive, the master designer behind Apple’s most revolutionary products in Steve Jobs’ time, shared the definition of focus according to Steve Jobs:
It sounds really simplistic, but it really shocks me, how few people actually practise this. And it’s a struggle to practise…Steve was one of the most remarkably focused person I have met in my entire life. And, the thing with focus is, it’s not that “this thing I aspire to, and you decide on Monday, you know, I am going to be focused. It is an every minute “why are we talking about this, this is what we are working on". You can achieve so much when you truly focus. And one of the things Steve would say, because he was concerned that I wasn’t. He would say, “How many things you have said no to?” Honestly, I would have these sacrificial things, coz I wanted to be very honest about it. So I’d say, “I’ve said no to this, I’ve said no to that” and he knew that I wasn’t vaguely interested in doing those things anyway, so there was no real sacrifice.
What focus means, is saying no to something that you with every bone in your body you think is a phenomenal idea, and you wake up thinking about it, but you say no to it, because you are focusing on something else.
NG Addition: Because you are focusing on something else that is more meaningful to you at the moment.
Start from the place of being a giver
A lot of us focus too much on “I want to do this, I want to have this much followers, I want to have this much money" and so on. Been there, done that. That is not a fulfilling route through life, though.
A more fulfilling route is help people.
My books should help people think differently.
My content should make people feel better about them.
My newsletter should make people feel seen, and say “it’s all what I have been thinking”.
Reminds me of a video I saw of Rhonda Byrne, author of The Secret, where she says that while production of The Secret movie, she had only one vision: Bring joy to the world.
And you see, how much of starting with that intention has given back to Rhonda herself.
Lastly, trust yourself
A lot of the times we are doing things to deal with insecurity and to chase stability. To avoid the “what if this happens”, so we want to do things that we don’t really like to do.
I’d suggest you need to trust yourself. A little bit more. (Notes to self.)
If you have had work so far, if you go deeper into what you like doing, you’ll have far better work to do later on too.
The only thing that is secure in this world is self-belief. Someone may take away your job, a client may come or go, but the conviction that you can figure things out when you operate from the mindset of a giver changes your biochemistry.
This is it, my friend.
It went deep, as most real conversations do.
But I know a lot of us struggle with the same questions despite our success. I hope today’s conversation provides you with a ground to think deeper.
2 Raw One-Liners:
20s: Expensive af
30s: Tremendous value af, price is worth a fraction of the valueIn your 20s, you are raw. By your 30s, you are roasted.
3 (for) Real wonderful lines that I read in books:
Maybe not everything will end in hurt. But we’ll never know if we don’t try. — Beg, Borrow or Steal, Sarah Adams
Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself. — Untamed, Glennon Doyle (Everyone, but especially every girl must read this book)
The best part of these two decades of 20s and 30s is they are strikingly similar, yet stunningly different. — 20s versus 30s ebook, by yours truly
That is it for this week, friends.
Please don’t forget, this is the last reminder to get instant access to the ebook 20s versus 30s at the introductory price. You can get the book later too, just that it would be at the original price that is more than 2x.
On that note, stay raw, stay real, and never stop reading. And, happy rakshabandhan :)
I’ll see you next week.
Nishtha Gehija