Raw and Real Conversation

Just 6 months into my first job, I got my first car ever!

Circa, October 2015: Your girl at age 24, unaware of the challenges of life ahead of her. I do not mind ageing, but bro, time does take away our innocence the most. And it is up to us to retain it as we grow wiser. But for now, let us get back to “not owning home” essay :)

It was actually not my idea. My then manager had once seen me get into the main gate of the office wearing a scarf covering whole of my head with nothing other than eyes visible, and also with gloves that reached above my elbows. We still go like this in our small town on our two-wheelers.

It was then that he suggested that I get a car.

It was a great decision, I must say.

Back in my home town, we never had a car (not complaining, never needed it). I always saw my friends with cars still ride their two wheelers, unless they were going for a family outing, where their father took out the holy car.

And here I was, in the great capital of the country, with visibly a high rate for accidents, gliding through NH 44, highways and bridges everywhere, and every single possibility of driving and parking in harsh conditions that life could teach you, driving alone at the age of 24.

One of those days in 2018 when the road to Gurgaon used to be so still that you could change from Google maps to clicking a picture :) Life used to be so different back then. Now I remember there are so many times I have refused to drive to a meeting in Gurgaon. Skipped a private show of a world famous artist, requested a prospect to meet in CP/South Delhi instead of Gurgaon, and so much for the respect of my time and energy. Time does change you :)

It made me vigilant, aware yet patient in so many ways.

But the best thing that came out of my car was a financial decision:

Never to get a loan ever again.

When I was getting the car, what had happened was this:

I took the car loan for 3 years instead of the usual 5 or 7 years, so that it would be over soon :)
But the first 1.5 years were miserable, because the EMI was eating away ~20% of my take-home salary.
Also, I was not adept at money management back then as I am now.

Translated: I jumped into the water thinking I would learn to swim, but I was floating literally grasping for breath.

Me when I was trying to navigate a life of loan (Image credits: Taylor Swift, Cardigan)

And here we are, in 2026, when my old car is long gone after serving me for almost a decade, the new car is almost 1.5 years old, we are debt-free, AND:

I do not still have a home. On purpose.

Fair warning: This is not a rent versus buy debate that we see online. Nor am I arguing against the emotional value of owning your own home. These both points are real, and abundantly discussed.

I have a different reason for sharing this.

The reason I do not have a home is the following:

1. Of course, I do not want any more loan, for the reasons I mentioned above. As you grow life blesses you with far greater income, but I’m not going to trade my peace of mind for anything. This further drove other reasons too, which are the following:

2. A home requires constant repair. Even if it is tiny. Even if it is built by the best builder in the best society. Affordability is one thing, but the mental load is something I do not want, baby.

3. Let others think “she hasn’t been able to build her home in so many years.” I am now confident enough that people love me wherever I go, because I do not demand them to give me their validation. And everything we poke at others is a reflection of our own insecurity.

4. There were times during that car loan period that I wanted to resign from my first job. But I could not because there was an EMI dangling on the 1st of every month. As a lesson from that, now I do a different thing with my money. I invest a huge part of my income in building a corpus, so that it eventually gets so big that its returns in itself serve my daily expenses for the rest of my life. That is not impossible, if I do not listen to the chattering voices of the crowd.

5. Your own home in the city you live (Delhi NCR in my case) becomes a bonafide hotel for everyone who comes to visit the city. As of now I live in a one-room apartment, so everyone knows it ~~loud~~ quiet and clear: we cannot go lodge in her home :) This might irk people who love hanging around with their extended family, but for me who loves solitude and needs it to get her job done really well, this is the best blessing :))

Fun fact: In my hometown, we moved into our new 3 BHK home 10 years ago. When we went to see the property for the first time, my parents offered me to be the first one to pick my room. Room 1 was something that was close to the living room, so I avoided it to avoid noise when guests came. Room 2 had balcony + washroom, and Room 3 had balcony + NO washroom. I unintelligibly picked up Room 3 with NO washroom, because now no one of the guests (my 3 sisters + their kids) could incessantly knock my room just because they had to use the washroom. No washroom, no knocking, baby :)) Only solitude and getting things done with focus.

6. As of now I live in a place that has homes only old-money people could have, which are mostly worth ₹50-100Cr. When you live in a place like that, you see 3-4 cars in every home, 2 of which are luxury cars, you do not want to trade that to go to an apartment area where residents are fighting in the group for someone not getting repaired the society motor. I know I am blessed to be living in such a place, but I am even more cognisant that I get to live here because I am deaf to everything else I “must” do because I am 35 :)

Listen to me again, please:

There is nothing wrong in getting your own home. And I mean it with all my heart. But we all have different goals in life. I shared mine above. When you know your goals too, your intuition is so loud that it drowns out the noises of the world.

In the end, I want to share one thing with you:

The other day I was coming to the first floor of the place where I live in, in Delhi NCR, when my landlady aunty, (who calls me her daughter and I also think she and uncle are my adopted parents) randomly asked me out of her care, “Where do you get kadi patta from?”

I told her I request someone in my spiritual class to get me a bunch, or in rare instances I order it from quick commerce.

“Are you out of your mind,” she startled with a loving grace, and then continued, “We have this big kadi patta bush in our garden. Come whenever you need it, and pluck as much as you want.”

If that was not enough, she even asked her gardener to put a kadi patta plant in my balcony, for she knew there would be times I would just not want to go downstairs.

“That is SO kind of you, thank you so much Aunty,” I continued, “But I am scared I would forget to water it and it would die. I do not want a plant to die because of my carelessness,” I confessed.

“Don’t worry dear, I knew you would fear that, I have already asked the gardener to water it daily.”

Sometimes, love shows up in the colour green <3

Don’t fix what isn’t broken.

2 Raw One-liners:

It is good that people change. Isn’t it a sign of stagnation if they don’t?
I am mostly fearless in the biggest of matters of life, but scared of people who shout. You lose so much of your credibility when you lose control over yourself.

3 (for) Real great podcasts you must listen to

Oprah on Mel Robbins: Oprah has saved my career in so many ways through her videos, by making me aligned with my inner voice. You must watch her other videos too.
Gary Vee on Steven Bartlet: This podcast is so much unlike the image of GaryVee that we all see online. And it came more than 3 years ago just when I needed it the most. So much so, that I remember it too date.

I do not spend a lot of time on podcasts, but these two are too good, too aligned into their inner voice. And as a third thing, let me share what I am really grateful for lately:

Reading books. Nothing changes your life better than reading books. And substituting 5 minutes of scrolling with 5 minutes of Kindle.

…

That is it my friend. The biggest thing, I hope you take from this, is to stay true to yourself.

Everything else is we all being clowns in a world that is designed to make you so, while they value authenticity in their hearts.

And if you liked this, get these instant access books too. None of these are free, but the good things are always cheaper than bad things :)

20s versus 30s: The strange and unique differences between the two most important decades of your life

The Corporate Life Handbook: If you are in corporate job and struggle with daily humdrums of it, one-pagers with harsh truths are something no one is going to tell you :)

The Career Changing Guide: If you are looking for a sign, this is it :)

How to Deal with Heartbreak: A book almost everyone needs but no one gives you right in your hand. If you don’t need this, get this for a friend you know certainly needs it.

Every Writer Needs to Read this: A book I wish I had 11 years ago when I was starting out as a writer

Thank you for reading, as always.

Nishtha Gehija

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Raw and Real by Nishtha

I am 35 and I don’t own a home.