Don't make social media your work or life
You can still be on social media without it controlling your life
Raw and Real conversation
For the past eleven years or so, I have been blessed by social media.
It has made me money, name and game.
So many things have worked out for me over the years, that I am always left wondering: “How would my career be if these things didn’t work out?”
It fills me with immense gratitude.
And guessing.
Yes you read that right.
Guessing, because when a few things did work out for me by social media, I turned my life upside down to make them work.
This also means letting go of the dreams I had baked, the promises I had made (to myself) and a life that did not involve social media.
Of course I would still be a writer, but in a different capacity and vision.
Which is why off late I have been thinking.
Social media is excellent, but does it really serve you?
Not just me, but every single one of us?
The never ending need to create more.
The anxiety of checking how a “post has performed”.
The FOMO to change your writing style because hey, everyone does that.
It is a never ending race to a place that might reward eventually, but at what cost? Not just the visible costs but the opportunity costs of focus and joy that comes from doing meaningful work.
And I do all of these things sometimes despite I have 95% of my business that works very well away from social media.
If social media has given you opportunities, do you not think that your life would still have been better off had it not existed? It would have led me at least to creating opportunities that did not take my focus away.
Which is why I urge you, to not make social media your business, your work and certainly not your life.
Ironically I say this as I just read a post of someone going from 712 followers to 130K followers on Instagram in just 90 days. But again, at what cost? Even if they spent 15 minutes on Instagram every day (which is very less looking at how addictive that app is), can you imagine the repercussions it drove to the rest of the day? The constant bothering to check data. Ideation. Checking trends. Giving themselves the false dopamine hit.
It is like sugar. Good in moderation, but get too much and the thing that you should eat when you are celebrating is the thing you should avoid if you even want to live.
So, what should you and I do if we want to become creators but I am urging you to not make social media your business?
If you are a creator, create. I write my daily blog and this weekly newsletter. They both fill me with insurmountable joy, just like writing books. I don’t think I could ever say this about social media. Paint. Design. Animate. Make movies. Do everything you want to. But for you. That is the starting point.
That said, if you really want to be on social media, make it a place where you display all that you did instead of “doing” something there. Even think of the creme-de-la-creme like Prajakta, Bhuvan, Kusha, Tanmay. Their career has gone on to become so much more than only creation. I get it that social media builds their trust, but a huge part of what they do is beyond social media. Social is simply a place where they connect with you and I, the work always gets done behind the scenes.
When you think of social media as a place to display what you did and not to “do” things, you are not dependent on it for validation and success. You are creating success outside anyway, while making sure you “reach” out to others and let the benefits still flow to you.
Above all, try your best to not spend more than 30 minutes there everyday. At max.
Not that you asked for it, but try studying people in your field that are gaining unpopular traction despite not being very active on social media. How can you capitalise more of what they did? Inspiration is everywhere, if our eyes are open.
I know it is difficult, just like it is difficult to get off the habit of smoking.
But if something is not serving you, isn’t it best to manage it in a manner that only helps you and never gets around to hindering you.
Sonnet of the week
Maybe I failed my Mom
I am scrolling through my Mom’s phone
to fix something she somehow broke
I stumble into something long gone
A message I wasn’t supposed to gawk
She wished my cousin “Happy daughter’s day”
Hey, she never ever told me if I ever made her day
Another cousin sends me a childhood picture
”Looking like a hero, like father, like daughter”
My sister tells my mom already sent her
I wonder to her if I ever matter
Maybe I failed my Mom
I tried to love, but maybe I never got past her barrier
She was operating under an unspoken norm
I tried to make her in the front seat, she had too much going to never make space for me in her rear
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20s versus 30s: The strange and unique differences between the two most important decades of your life
The Corporate Life Handbook: If you are in corporate job and struggle with daily humdrums of it, one-pagers with harsh truths are something no one is going to tell you :)
The Career Changing Guide: If you are looking for a sign, this is it :)
How to Deal with Heartbreak: A book almost everyone needs but no one gives you right in your hand. If you don’t need this, get this for a friend you know certainly needs it.
Every Writer Needs to Read this: A book I wish I had 11 years ago when I was starting out as a writer
Thanks for reading this straight from the heart edition. I’ll see you all next week :)
Nishtha Gehija
Finally, someone is saying it! Honest truth!